“No way! You’re wrong!”

“I don't think so.”

“You make no sense!”

“I'm afraid I disagree.”

“You don't even know what you’re talking about!”

“I'd say the exact opposite.”

Sounds familiar? These are things we’ve either heard other people say or said it ourselves in an argument isn’t it?

Life would be so much different if we lived in a perfect world where everyone agreed with each other just like that. But it is no secret that when an opinion is raised, it is only natural to have active or passive disagreement from the other side.

Research shows that the ability to resolve disagreements in the proper manner can help result in positive relationships in the workplace and improve mutual respect.

Tensions that exist between people in disagreement can cause uncomfortable situations, affecting productivity and resulting in wasted time. The most obvious and easily recognizable form of disagreements are with words, either written or spoken. But some people might express their disagreement through facial expressions and body language too.

Passion that drives people is something to cherish. But, it is important to not let them result in a heated argument that undermines your personality. Being more mindful about how we disagree can be a good way to demonstrate our emotional intelligence.

The most important thing that you can do at a point of disagreement is to stay calm.

Stay calm? Sounds like an ‘easier said than done’ situation doesn’t it?

Staying calm not only helps you gather your thoughts and present your points rationally. It also enables the other person to listen to what you have to say and consider understanding your point of view.

In many situations disagreements can get personal, attacking the other person due to conflicts that may have risen in the past. In such cases, it is crucial to avoid any personal bias affecting the argument in question. If the other person does get personal with their arguments, Dale Carnegie’s principle #10 provides the best solution. The principle states ‘The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

With that being said, disagreements need not always be a bad thing. Learning to deal with disagreements in the right manner can help alleviate yourself as a person in any social situation.

When it does come to a point of disagreement, there are ways in which one can do it agreeably. Dale Carnegie talks about six rules that help in mastering the art of disagreement.

Rule #1: Give others the benefit of the doubt

Understanding what the other person is saying not only creates the impression that you respect the other person in the conversation, but gives you direction about how to carry the conversation forward. This leads us to the next rule.

Rule #2: Be sure to listen and truly understand why they believe what they do.

Different people have different perspectives, some of which may not be very obvious to everyone. Before you present your rationale, take a second to think if there is a point of view that you may have missed out on.

Rule #3: Take responsibility for what you say.

Begin with ‘I’ rather than ‘You’ to avoid the tone of placing blame on the other person. Instead of saying “You always give me last minute work when you know I need to leave early!”, you can try saying “I’m sorry but I had informed you earlier that I need to leave early today. Can we take this up first thing in the morning?”

Rule #4: When there’s a difference of opinion, begin your counter argument with a “cushion”.

A cushion can be something like “I appreciate your view…” or “I hear what you’re saying….”

Rule #5: When you have used a cushion, acknowledge the other person’s opinion without using words like ‘however, or ‘but’. It can erase the acknowledgement that you have just made.

Rule #6: Use evidences that are relatable for the other person

Make sure that you do not present points that cannot be corroborated. It will not only compromise your argument but also diminish the credibility of what you say going forward.

“When you win an argument, most often you lose a relationship”. You could always end an argument with loud words and an angry voice. But there’s so much more to lose than gain in such a situation. Dale Carnegie's principle states that just like you are trying to further your own interests, so are other people. Remember to emphasize how the other person will benefit. Disagreeing agreeably can create a positive environment in which people can thrive without the thought of being disrespected when they present their opinions. Being helpful and considerate establishes a foundation for times where conflicts do arise.

But hey, if you do think otherwise, let's agree to disagree, shall we?